So Far, So Frustrating A Tainted Compassion Cannablog
SO FAR, SO FRUSTRATING
by Mickey Martin — last modified Jan 13, 2010 08:52 PM
filed under: halfway house
One week down, 51 to go. My experiences being confined to a halfway house thus far have been, to put it simply, frustrating. I checked into 111 Taylor St., a Cornell Corrections Facility in SF, on January 5th. Upon entering I knew I was in for a maddening experience, but I do not think that the facility was prepared for how unique and confusing my particular situation would be for them.
I am what is considered “Public Law,” meaning I am not there transitioning from prison, but there to serve a term of confinement. I met with my caseworker Judith Henderson, a nice older black woman with 12 grandchildren. She seemed to be misinformed about what exactly my situation entailed and although her heart was in the right place, her information lead to massive confusion and frustration. She informed me that I would be able to visit my children immediately on the weekends, that I would be able to take Marinol if a doctor prescribed it, and that they did not allow for me to be self-employed. All of these assumptions ended up being reversed by the facility director, Maria Richard (except for being self-employed which is still being looked into).
I met with Ms. Richard a couple of evenings after being there. She sat me down and began to tell me that there were no exceptions in visitation privileges, and that my caseworker had made a mistake in telling me I could see my children. I had already told my wife and kids that I would be home soon to visit, so it was very disappointing to find out this was false. I questioned why an experienced caseworker would mislead me and get the hopes of my family and I up without cause. She told me she did not know, and that I should ask her. Nice. Way to pass the buck onto your underlings.
She then informed me that Marinol was not allowed without a court order, due to her contract with the U.S. Bureau of Prisons. I informed her that I believed it to be cruel and unusual punishment to deny a person's right to a medical necessity that they had been using successfully to treat their condition for over 2 years. I explained that the situation was ripe for litigation. She was taken aback and asked me if I wanted to be signed out of her facility that night. You see, as public law they are not required to house me. They, as a private company, can end my stay at any time that they see fit, putting me back in court for alternative sentencing. My response to her was “maybe.” She asked if I wanted to check with my attorneys before making any decisions. I questioned if she had the right legally or morally to inhibit me serving my sentence based on me expressing my desire to pursue my civil rights in a court of law. Not for breaking any rules. Not for defying orders to stop taking the medicine. But seeking clarity and defining the constitutionality of the situation in a court of law. She informed me if I was threatening a lawsuit against her company that they had a right to simply not put up with the “hassle” it would create. I expressed that since she claimed it was the BOP contract that bound her that the real issue was with them and that their company, serving as an arm of that policy, may or may not be involved.
The director expressed that she supported medical marijuana but was simply following the orders of the court and her obligation to the BOP in her actions. She attempted to make some remarks about the new policy really not being reflected in enforcement, as people were still being raided. I informed her the policy was officially issued October 19th and that since then, no enforcement actions had been taken. She attempted to disagree with me, as she was under the impression that the policy was instated during the Eric Holder press conference in February and that Emmalynn's and others had been raided since. After educating her on the reality of the policy, she retracted, stating “Well, it is good to know that we have a medical cannabis expert here in case I have any questions.” I ensured her I was happy to take on that role, as it is my life.
She explained that I may be able to be self-employed since it was the spirit of the judge's decision to allow me to continue my work and support my family. This was good news, but has yet to come to be. I am holding my breath. I saw irony in the fact that I would not be allowed to visit my home for 30 days, but that I may be able to work there if everything was worked out. The phrase “ass-backwards on purpose” comes to mind.
So I took a position working at a flooring store at minimum wage in the meantime. I came to work on Friday, and after being here only three short hours they sent a person from the facility to check in on me. I had barely filled out my paperwork and gone through the company orientation before they were checking in on me. I had gone to lunch when the person arrived. When he asked for me no one knew who I was because the people I did meet knew me as simply Mickey and I had yet to meet most of the staff. My boss had left for the day, and they believed I was gaming their system. They ordered me to return to the facility after only 3 hours of work. I came back to work on Sunday. Once again they sent out their representatives, this time in is street clothes on his normal day off, to check on me again. He met with my boss and I and looked around. He was not very discreet in his approach and any expectation of privacy with my coworkers about my unfortunate situation went out the window after his visit. On Monday, they failed to sign my pass on-time making me a half hour late for work. The gentleman that was nice enough to give me a job was understanding, but noticeably worn thin by the drama. I cannot imagine going through this with an employer who I did not have a previous relationship with, as it is just too much of an uphill battle for a lower level employee and not worth the time and effort it entails to employ me.
So, to make a long story short, it has been a long and rough first week in custody. I am doing my best to adjust but often I wonder what the purpose of it all is? I have come to just set logic and reason aside, and try to accept the senselessness of it all for what it is. I look forward to staying busy, and hope the next 51 weeks are much less stressful than this first one has been. It is amazing to me that I was removed from my wife and 2 children in my suburban home where I was responsible and accountable and a good provider, to drop me in the middle of the poverty stricken and drug ravaged streets of San Francisco's tenderloin district to apparently “rehab” me for my crime of providing medicine to patients. But like I said, logic and reason have no place here.
I think the time would be easier to deal with if I did not have the worries of how my kids will be affected by all of this. If paying my bills had not become such an uphill battle and I was allowed to take my prescribed medicines, I could see how this situation would be more manageable. I understand things could have been much worse, but that still does not make this situation palatable for me. It is not a slap on the wrist by any means. It is a detrimental period of injustice that will scar my outlook on society for years to come. I am housed with folks who have spent 5, 10, 15 years in prison and know life to be one stabbing and lockdown after another. Do not get me wrong. I see how a facility like this can really help some folks that need that buffer between prison and freedom. The facility actually does a great deal of good for people who need that structure and support. They do a great job of motivating folks to be employed and to be accountable members of the community. To use the words of the drug counselor I met with yesterday, my situation is just, well, trivial. And that is what is so damn frustrating.
